Fucking stop it already.

You know what pisses me off? Like, royally?

Porn. You already knew this.

But my major beef lately is how much completely inaccurate information is being spread because of this preoccupation with porn.

What's so wrong with it, you ask?

It's unrealistic by and large. It has men thinking that women get off as soon as they're touched and/or penetrated. It has women thinking either 1) there's something wrong with them if they don't get off within a minute or two of being penetrated, or 2) that being an obnoxious screamer that sounds largely like a donkey braying is what men find attractive.

Ladies, if your man can't or won't get you off, teach him what you like. If you don't know, you better be prepared to spend some significant time on self love. If you don't know what does it for you, how can you possibly expect him to figure it out? He'll be happy to help you out if you can give him some positive feedback. If he doesn't care enough to try or doesn't get it, ditch his ass. There are too many good lovers out there to put up with one who's selfish.

Men, if your woman can't get off, it's time to face the music. Odds are you could stand to alter your routine, or spend more time trying new things with your lady. Most women require some form of direct clitoral stimulation to get off. I mean, think about it. You like it when she touches your dick. Clit = female equivalent of the dick, by and large. TOUCH IT GOD DAMN YOU.

And like men, each woman enjoys a different kind of touch. Luckily for you, all it really takes to learn what a woman likes is some time and effort. And fucking pay attention, for the love of God. I know you're really distracted by OHMYGODTHATFEELSGOOD, but make an effort here, kids.