After a walking tour of a local tourist trap, during which I proceeded to make an ass out of myself in every way imaginable, my friends told me they had a surprise for me.
We rolled up to what looked like an abandoned Main Street USA shopping center on a poorly lit road in the middle of the bad part of town. The blazing neon beckoned, as did the beautifully made corsets hanging in the window. I laughed.
You guys brought me to a sex toy store for my birthday?
They just laughed and told me to wait until I saw the inside.
I don't even remember the name of the joint. I'm referring to it as the "Leather Daddy Store" from this point forward.
As soon as we walked in, I saw a dildo with a head that was literally as big as my face. I cringed like a dude who's about to get kicked in the nuts. The thought of something like that anywhere NEAR my girl parts makes me hurt.
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| Happy birthday! Monster dicks on sale! |
Image: TheChanel via Flickr
Despite the massive fake cock that mocked me from the entryway, I had a blast exploring. We wandered around and I was essentially a big kid in an adult toy store.
I fondled whipping instruments.
I waved my gay pride rainbow flag.
I tried on a leather captain's hat and menacingly waggled a gigantic three-foot-long double headed dildo at one of my friends.
Best of all, I learned a lot about different aspects of the lifestyle. I asked the guy behind the counter a million questions about toys and floggers and various implements designed for different kinds of stimulation.
Even though the Leather Daddy Store has lots of stuff for people into hardcore BDSM, I really believe it has a little something for every adult looking to explore new horizons.
I bet you wish you had friends like me, eh? Why go out for drinks at any boring bar when you could be chasing your buddies with dildos and whips for your birthday?
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